Monica Nelida

My Dad passed away on September 26, 2023.  On the day of his viewing, I read the following piece aloud to those who were present in the room.

My Dad

By Monica Kemper

On behalf of the family, I would like to thank you all for being here.  Your presence is appreciated as are your thoughts and prayers.  The outpouring of love is tremendous.  Thank you.

Recently, I watched a documentary called Father’s Day on YouTube.  For those of you who have not seen it, it is a documentary about Kirk Franklin, a gospel artist, meeting his birth father for the first time.  Kirk believed his father was a man he had known who passed away.  A DNA test proved different.  Kirk met his biological father for the first time in his 50’s.  It is a story of connection and of letting go.

I am grateful to have known my father.  His birth name is Michael Joseph Barker.  He has been in my life since the day I was born.  Growing up, I feared my Dad.  It took me years to realize that he was not a monster.  He was like the beast in beauty and the beast, he only needed to be shown love to (know how to) love.  My Dad did the best he could do based on what he knew, like any of us.  Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better.”  I don’t know if my Dad knew about this quote, but I know that he did the best he could and that as he got older and wiser, he got better.

He married my Mom, Katie, and had 6 children with her, myself being the oldest.  This November my parents would have celebrated their Golden anniversary—that’s 50 years y’all.  Through thick and thin, my mom and Dad weathered the storms of their marriage.  They enjoyed the sunny days and the flowers and fruit of it as well.  They stayed together—after all those years.  It is through his queen and his children and grandchildren that he was able to experience love for himself.

My Dad was a provider, in the realest sense of the word.  We always had a roof over our heads and food on our plate.  He went to work every day.  He would get perfect attendance recognition for not missing a day of work.  He was consistent.  Seeing him get up early in the morning to go to work every day gave me my own sense of work ethic.  He worked at Bethlehem Steel and Russer Foods.  My Dad was a hardworking man. 

My Dad loved music.  Music tamed his heart.  When I was growing up, he played Earth, Wind, and Fire; Stevie Wonder; The Commodores; and Heatwave records, to name a few.  One of my Dad’s favorite artists was Santana—Samba Pa Ti!  I remember him bringing his tape player and playing his music at the family cookouts.  I can see him now sitting in the backyard at my cousin’s house at the picnic table listening to his jams.  I grew up to all the soul classics because of him and I am grateful for it.  As an adult, I have a greater appreciation for all the music he played.  Listening to it now takes me back in time.  I realize and appreciate how meaningful it is from the lyrics to the instrumentals.

My Dad would talk to me about “Universal Consciousness.”  I interpret this as “God Consciousness” or being aware of the presence of God.  We all at some point ask the question, “Who am I?” and “Why am I here?”  I can gather that my Dad explored human existence and purpose.  Although we were not a church going family, my Dad watched services on TV.  He liked watching sermons by the late Dr. Fred Price, for example.  My Dad told me that he prayed and talked to God.  Although I did not ask, I sense that he was a saved man.

My Dad was creative.  He made art and wrote poems.  He wrote a book of acrostic poems titled Acrostic Journey-Poems in the Key of Life.  From it, I would like to read a poem titled, “To Thee I Pray.”

To Thee I Pray

by Michael J. Barker

This blessing inside I must convey

Of all that’s given day by day

The Lord, my shepherd and eternal guide

He my mentor in which to confide

Engineering faith from His place above

Each day blessed by His touch of love

I

Purposely and with want

Receive You as my confidant

As I give thanks for every day

Your blessings have help(ed) lead the way

I would now like to read from the Holy Bible.  The scriptures I read are from the King James Version:  Genesis 3:19, Psalm 34:22, Psalm 34:18, Matthew 5:4, and Revelation 21:4.

I’m going to miss my Dad.  I appreciate him for helping to shape me into the person I am today.  He helped me through my tough times in life with words of advice, encouragement, and comfort.  When I called him, he was there…even when I didn’t call him, he was there.  I know he only wanted the best for me.  I know that he loved me, and I love him.  Rest in Heaven Dad.

Thank you.

~~~

It has now been over two years since my Dad passed away.  He was 69 years old when he passed.  The number 69 reminds me of the yin-yang symbol he always liked.  Any time I see yin-yang, I think of my Dad.  His birthday is January 17th and as of the day of this post, he would be 72 years old. 

Happy Heavenly Birthday Dad!  I miss you and I love you forever!  Love, Monica.